Never
by The Neliel Tu
Summary: Neliel x Nnoitora, one shot.


_I started this a while ago, and I guess I forgot about it. _

_Nel x Nnoi, of course. _

_If it's kinda weird, well, that's probably because I forgot my original intention. _

_I attempted to salvage what I could, though. _

_The inspiration for this was a song by Lisa Loeb, but I can't remember the name. _

_Good luck reading! _

&

**Never**

_"I don't know…and I don't care…if I ever will see you again."_

Truly, he did not.

She was a bitch.

_Bitch._

She only existed to look down upon him.

Better, he deserved better.

He did not deserve her.

No, she did not deserve him.

She was not worthy to lick his boots.

She was nothing.

She was a bitch.

He found himself hating her more and more as the days passed.

He found love growing as well, in a strange way.

_Love?_

He did not know what love was. He did not care to know.

He wanted strength, power.

Fuck love. Love was nothing. Love was weakness.

Power was everything.

Power was all he needed.

Yet, Neliel was power.

Was Neliel what he needed?

Neliel was love.

Did love and power go together, somehow?

He hated the thought. The possibility.

"I don't fucking love." He muttered.

_Anger_

It was the day he scared Tesla's eye.

It was a tragic day for the innocent, unsuspecting fraccion.

He could have done nothing to stop it.

"Do you miss Neliel-sama?"

It was but a simple question.

The sharp slice of Nnoitora's blade stung at first, and Tesla screamed bloody murder.

Then, Nnoitora yelled for him to "Quit his bitching" and Tesla promptly shut his mouth.

Could he do anything else in such a situation?

Sure, it was painful, and bled a great deal, but the eye had been blind to begin with.

Nnoitora was not happy any time.

Tesla could not help that.

He offered so much.

Hatred was the only thing he seemed to receive in return.

_Lust_

She had been a work of art.

Perfection in the form of an arrancar, an espada, she was.

He had caught himself mentally salivating over her lush form many a time.

He would have done anything to possess her, to wipe that smug expression off of her face as he proved that beasts were good in bed.

She would never allow it.

He would die first. She would be the one on top, she would dominate—she would—

He couldn't help that it was images of her that flitted through his mind while he was sating his baser desires, whether with a female arrancar, his hand, or through Tesla.

He had even caught the little bastard fraccion of his fapping off and calling out "Neliel" so softly.

Lust was a word that came to mind whenever he saw her.

She was seductive without meaning to be.

She was sexy.

She was supposed to be his.

He was a beast. She did not burden herself with the lives of beasts.

Did that mean she fucked them?

He kicked himself for thinking that.

_Reunion_

He wanted to fuck her, right then and there, before Ichigo, with all of his friends as witnesses.

She went to Ichigo right away.

"Bitch." _You should be hugging me, you dumbass._

She could have redeemed herself, had she come to Nnoitora. But he was further convinced that the green-haired one needed to die. And so she would.

Maybe.

_Death_

Death was not painful.

In fact, he rather enjoyed death.

Death was interesting. Death was peaceful.

He welcomed death. He died in a fight. A fight was the perfect ending for his short life.

He was glad.

She wouldn't let him die in peace.

She wanted to heal him.

He wanted to die.

Leave me the fuck alone, brat, he wanted to say, but could not.

His lips parted, his jaw flailed, but no sound pushed past his throat.

He was healed, somehow. He was angry to still be alive.

Why could she not have just let him die?

Why did she always have to save his life at the goddamn last minute?

She, that hateful being; dripping life back into his corrupted veins.

He wished she were dead.

He wished she were his.

"Bitch."

"That's all you have to say for yourself?" she murmured.

_Don't—_

"Don't tell me you did not want to be saved." She looked so majestic, her old composure regained only so that she could look down upon him.

"Death would have been better, bitch."

"Don't say things like that—"

"Don't fucking speak like you know what I want! Dumb shit!"

"Don't speak to me—"

"Don't be so goddamn regal all the time! You're not godly!"

"You're not either."

She turned. She walked away, to join Ichigo, the others.

Don't call out to her.

Don't speak.

Don't beg her to love you.

_She_

She was probably the only one he would ever love.

She was the only one he would ever want to love.

He could never place the feeling. He could never hope to.

He wanted her gone so he would no longer want to.

As long as he knew she was alive, he knew he would feel that feeling.

_A kiss_

A kiss was all it took to make his doubt melt away, the doubt being that his feelings of love were love. As much as he hated to admit, he knew that he loved her.

But, why had she kissed him?

Why had she come back to him?

Why did she return his feelings?

That kiss made him love her, but it also made him hate her all the more.

For, that kiss had been a cool, fleeting brush of lips. It had been as aloof as she had been in her espada days, it had reminded him of _that_ time. He wondered…did _she_ remember the past?

That kiss had been nothing more than a kiss, with no feeling, just a kiss. What was the point of a kiss if it had nothing attached to it? She was a woman, weren't women the ones who were supposed to attach emotion to every lustful gesture?

Then it struck him that that had been her point. She had reversed their roles. From the smug smile that rested upon her beautiful lips, he knew that he had guessed correctly.

"Damn."

She had made him _think._ About feelings, of all things, of all the things that could cross his mind, it had to be about his feelings.

Damn her for being strong, he thought. Damn her for being so unlike a woman.

Still, he wondered how she could kiss him with so little meaning.

"Did you really think that only men could detach themselves from lustful actions, Nnoitora?"

He had. He did not wish to admit it, but he had.

"I may not have battle experience, like you, but I do have experience in something that you never will." She spoke calmly, regally. It was unlike the way she had spoken with Ichigo, his friends, but this was the true Neliel.

"Fuck you."

She lifted her chin, her jaw falling as though she might speak. She laughed. She laughed at him.

He had never heard her laugh. She had always been serious, condescending, a bitch.

She was laughing.

Why had she never laughed before?

She caught the curious gaze.

"This? You wonder about this? Why you have never heard my laugh before? You have not deserved to hear it, but now, I grant you this sound." She laughed again, the tinkling of harmonic bells, a bubbling stream, a pure, innocent, beautiful sound.

"Fuck you."

"How you wish." She scoffed, scowling at him. It was surprising how quickly her demeanor could change, and Nnoitora showed it by a suddenly wide eye.

He did not understand her.

He could never hope to.

She would never let him in.

Never.

_End._


End file.
